I'm back in the UK. Tuesday is the one year anniversary of my mum's death. We had a simple ceremony by her woodland grave today with family and a few special friends. Afterwards we all have lunch back at my parent's house. As I am eating I get a message from my husband who is... Continue Reading →
I am sitting on my bed, with the bedroom door shut, hiding from, but also listening to, the Insurance Adjuster Outside talking to my husband about the damage I caused to the garage and most of its contents. I sit ignoring the glorious honey rays of sun as it gently slips away and instead I... Continue Reading →
I missed Jill's funeral yesterday. Not that I had had much enthusiasm for a third flight back across the Atlantic for a funeral in less than 6 months. But I did want to be there to share the grief. To say goodbye. But in the end, as many expats find, the cost, distance and organization... Continue Reading →
Jill Nickalls died this morning. She was an amazing woman loving and welcoming. Her house, and especially her kitchen, was always open to visitors. Her kitchen was so cosy and relaxing with its paintings, overflowing open shelves, AGA and long wooden table you felt you could sit for hours. Jill always seemed to have something... Continue Reading →
So its nearly five months since Mum died. I thought I would give an update on how things are going. If you remember ages ago I shared the 7 stages of grief. I would guess that now I have reached 5 - the Upward Turn. But it isn't simply a one way journey I do... Continue Reading →
I have coffee in my hand. I'm sitting in my favorite chair by the window with the view of the woods bathed today in beautiful sunshine. My iPad buzzes. It's my Dad wanting FaceTime. With a characteristic squeal the picture stabilizes to a view of the white wooden door with aprons hanging from it, the... Continue Reading →
Grief has eased its stranglehold and memory reasserted its right to travel through time and bring us back to those we love.
My dog is sick. He is bleeding red blood from his bottom, he won't eat, he lies down and gazes at me with sad soulful eyes. I realize that I have been lying. Whilst I did make new concrete personal resolutions to change my behavior this year. I also silently prayed. Prayed for no more... Continue Reading →